The zoo

Roland Schitt "Roli" · gray tabby · 2021

Named on the assumption he'd be incontinent for the rest of his life. He isn't. The name stuck anyway.

Tamale · brown tabby and white · 2022

Named for how spicy she was when my wife trapped her behind the vet office. She came home, spent about a month in the guest bathroom, and I sat in there for hours at a time showing her we were going to feed her and not kill her. Eventually she came out of her shell.

Stolichnaya "Stoli" · calico · 2020

Named because I have a penchant for good Russian vodka and no gift for naming things. She was Pixel's adopted daughter and she carries that same motherly streak forward with the rest of the cats. The true matriarch of our little colony. She'll hold you down and love you forever.

Madeline · dark brown tabby · 2021

A foster kitten who turned into a permanent, avoidant fixture of the house. Named for how dainty she is. She wants to want love, but she'd rather pretend to brush against your leg from five feet away than actually do it.

Calcifer · cream, flame point · 2022

Named for the fire demon in Howl's Moving Castle. He came into my wife's clinic one night in December with essentially no heartbeat, and somehow she got him back. She told me afterwards: they're not dead till they're warm and dead. He's the definition of a scaredy cat, though lately he's getting a bit braver. Sleepiest boy in the world.

Pixel · dark tortoiseshell · 2019-2021

Named because I'm a total nerd, and this foster stole my heart. She was tiny when we got her, small enough to fall asleep in the crook of my neck. She's no longer with us.

Magnolia · brown tabby · 2014-2021

My wife's cat. She came into the clinic when my wife was a vet tech and wouldn't let anyone else touch her. She was the first cat I ever had, and she's how I found out I'm a cat person.

Lucy · dilute calico · 2016

My sweet baby. She sleeps on my chest every night. The first pet my wife and I adopted together, while she was in vet school at Auburn.

Roux · tan retriever mix · 2017

My wife found him in the Tuskegee forest outside Auburn, while she was out riding Tigger. He still had bird shot in his backside, probably from chasing somebody's chickens. He was a junkyard ass dog and she brought him home anyway.

Louise · small tan and white · 2019

My wife's pet princess. She demands to sleep between the two of us, in the bed, every night.

Juniper "Juni" · black and white · 2020

A rescue out of Greater Birmingham. Sweet and lovely, and all she wants is to sit next to you and have her belly rubbed. She's also the most explosively reactive dog in the bunch. If she sees something, you will know about it, and it will be one of the most annoying sounds you have ever heard. Love her anyway, because she's so damn sweet.

Krombopulus Michael · small, tan and white · 2021

He's deaf, which is how he ended up with a name that long. You normally want something short so a dog can hear it and understand it, and none of that applies here, so we could call him whatever we liked. He also has vestibular disease. We considered Nascar, because he leans to the left and only runs in left-hand circles. Total goober, can't hear a word you say, and probably the happiest dog I've ever met.

Finn · husky Pyrenees mix · 2020

The first big dog we got, named after Finn from Adventure Time, which turned out to be apt. He's a big sweety. Smart, but slow to answer you, because his brain is going a thousand miles a minute. Husky Pyrenees, so he's loud and he's fun.

Buttons · Great Pyrenees · 2023

Sweetest little lady, and very respectful with it. She came to us used to living outside and eating pizza.

Andy Gator "Gator" · golden mix · 2026

Found at a gas station, begging people for pizza. He turned out to be one of the cutest, heaviest, best boys we've got. Gator because he does the Malinois chomp chomps. Andy Gator because that's my six-pack of choice from a gas station.

Monet · black and gray, scruffy · 2007-2019

My wife's first dog that was strictly hers. I knew Monet back in high school, when my wife and I first dated, and I was one of the only men in her life that Monet liked. Sweet but neurotic, and very smart. One of the best dogs there's been.

Cole · brindle · 2019-2021

Named after Nicole, the girl who found him and who we got him from. He was such a good dog. Sweet, patient, good with the other dogs and good with the cats. He'd entertain himself by running up the stairs of our townhouse in Auburn, dropping a ball down, and chasing after it. Then the kidney failure came out of nowhere. Probably the worst pet death we've had. He got ice cream and a big steak before we put him to sleep.

Tigger · buckskin · 2017

My wife's second horse, after her first old draft horse passed. He's a BLM auction horse who ended up as somebody's husband horse, except the husband didn't ride, so they sold him to my wife for five hundred bucks while she was in vet school. Sweet, calm and easy-going.

Washoe "Washy" · dark bay mustang · 2021

Named after the tribe. A BLM mustang, like Tigger, and my wife's first real horse purchase. He's the first one we drove out to meet, in Tennessee, and trailered back to Alabama. He's her future endurance horse. He wants cookies and pets, and he'll fall asleep on the spot if you scratch him just right.

Edgar Allan Pretty Pony · pinto pony · 2022

A sweet little pocket pony. He'll follow you the length of the pasture and all he wants is cookies. He gets fat on air and sunshine. One of these days we'll teach him to pull a cart.

Claude · rabbit · 2017

A rescue out of a hoarding case, kept in someone's dark basement. My wife convinced me we could keep him in our tiny townhouse while she went through a doctoral program. He's somehow still kicking. Super sweet.

Alice · broken-pattern rabbit · 2018-2025

We got her so Claude would have a friend. The cats would hang out with him, but he needed another rabbit in his life. She died of a severe head tilt.

Clementine · rabbit · 2022

Another surrender, and we already had two, so why not three? It turned out to be the right call after Alice died.

Temaki · green-cheek conure · 2022

I saw him in PetSmart, and my wife said: you always wanted a bird, you let me get all the animals I want, who am I to tell you no? So that's how that happened. He's a great little guy. The only words he knows are “sweet bird” and “sweet birdy”, and he likes to sit on my shoulder or my hand while I'm working at the PC.

Mai Tai · sun conure · 2025

He was three when we got him, from a family with a newborn in a small house who were being driven up the wall by the noise, which is fair. They thought about it for six months before deciding they were okay with us taking him, and they still come by to see him. He says “hey birdy”, “I love you bird” and “hey big bird”, he clicks, and when I cover his cage and kill the lights he says “Alexa, turn the lights off.” We're a Google house. Lately he and Temaki have both started copying my laugh.

Iris · ball python · 2017

Another crazy purchase, and a bag of frozen rats in the freezer is a great conversation starter. She was just under a foot long when we got her. She's about three and a half feet now, and about as wide as a Coke bottle.

The fish tank · one guppy, two loaches, six big shrimp · 2022

Going strong for several years now, and mostly stocked the whole time. These days it's a single guppy, two loaches, about six huge gray shrimp, a ton of plants, and a few other things.

The snail · mystery snail · 2022-2023